Happenings

Yesterday was my daughters 7th birthday.
I can't believe it... I am far too young to have a 7 year old.
Well I feel like I am anyway... Obviously I'm not too young, because I do in fact have one.
We threw her a party, against my better judgement. I just thought no one would come, and her special day would be ruined.
A lot of people showed up. It was really nice, and she really enjoyed it. I am happy we did it now.
What ever is meant to be will be.
I guess going with your 1st instints isn't always the best thing to do.
She went to a haunted house, and to spend the night with my sister afterwards.
She is getting so grown-up.
Soon, I won't be the favorite person in her life any more. That age is coming to end. Makes me sad.
But just like my mother did... It's something I'm just going to have to live through.
I love her so much.

The boys are starting to crawl now. Kind of. They scoot, and are all over the place. I am so proud of them. They have come such a long way.
Developmentally, they are right up to par with their peers.
And they got approved for the Synagis shots. Didn't think that they would...
On account of the fact that they never needed oxygen, and they are right on the edge for gestational age at birth. I *think* the cut off is 32 weeks, and under 6 mths. old.
They were born at 30 weeks 4/7 days, and will be 7 mths. at the start of RSV season.
Which apparently begins in November here.
I'm glad they are getting it.
1-2% of children that contract it die from it...


I also got a job.
At a grocery store.
:o|
As a cashier.
:o|
Not that I'm "too good"... but I think I am over qualified.
But the thing is... I intentionally applied there, and really wanted the job.
I just want a little part time thing...
So here I am.
:o)
They hired me on the spot. Made me feel good. lol.
I need to go study.

Stressed out...

I'm so overwhelmed right now...
I'm not going to go into detail about finances, but I guess that is what it all boils down too, finances.
Daddy is stressed and grouchy, and driving me up a wall...
And no, I'm not working, looking yes, working no.
But in my defense, schoool and two little men and a nearly 7 year old is work enough.
Besides, I'm still primarily nursing the boys, and I don't want them in daycare yet.
Excuses, right??
Truth is I'm just not ready.
I'm not ready to let them be out of my sight for that long...
The NICU was hard on me in that way.
Now I'm just utterly terrified, and almost convinced that they will be taken away.
They are still preemies in fact. Doesn't that mean that have a higher chance of infantile death??
Scary. Terrifying.
I wouldn't be able to live if I lost one of my children.
I've lost a baby... extremly early on. I mourned those loses, and I'm okay with them now, but some how... that is just completely different.
Totally different.
I know that once I finish this class... I have to work. I know that. But can't I just have a few more months enjoying the boys??
They are only so tiny once after all.
I need a job.
Maybe I will be more pro-active about finding a little part-time one?
I've already decided to work 7 days a week any way... in addition to a day job, I plan on doing something on the week end also.
I have some previous bills I need to pay off, and we need to save some moolah...
Having a house by the age of 25 is not an option.
It's like kind of mandatory in my "life goals" check list. Lol.
So I better get cracking! lol. Seriously.
I'm going to find a job. I am wicked stressed... stressing hubby out. :o|
There really aren't many jobs here though...
Maybe we will move??
Maybe I can "work the pole", lol.
But no one really wants to see my c-section scar. lol.
This is suppose to be serious.
Okay.
The economy is terrible right now, and there are so not very many jobs... hopefully I find something. Part-time.

No time, no time, no time...

Things have been so very hectic lately. The boys got sick for the first time... they were so miserable, and it just completely broke my heart. They are much better now, thank God, but it was worrisome, none the less. School is going good, I suppose. Days are long, hours are short... As the term gets closer and closer to being over, I'm beginning to dread the fact that I will actually be going back to work full-time. I will miss my babies, I know... but we want a house, and things... things... And unlike the more privelaged, we must work and support ourselves. We need 2 incomes. Atleast I got a year with my little men. A year to enjoy them... I know, i'm still going to see them, der! but for 40hrs. a week I will be working, instead of spending time with them. *Sigh* I shall miss them. As of now Daddy will work nights, I'll drop them at the sitter for 4hrs. so he can rest, and he will have them 'till I make it home. Maybe he will have them full-time, not sure yet. I take the CPC in March, God willing, and I guess we will decide then. Any who. The daughter will be 7 on the 24th. Things are so tight right now, so I can't afford to do much really. I'm going to take her to get her nails painted, probably... She loves that. Then her and the cousin to "Build-a-bear"... Should be fun... Her 5th birthday that is where we took her. 6th was "Libby-Lou's"... but I despise Libby! lol. The daughter is so unbelieveably girly though. I love her. Makes me reconsider rather adding to the family or not. We have dicussed in detail... trying when the boys are around 3, but I don't know how much I really want another. Time shall tell, eh. The little men are so very busy now-a-days. They are amazing. They act like they are 6mths. as oppose to their adjusted 4mths. What can I say?? I breed excellence! They are rolling all over the place, and eating off the spoon, like old pro's! They only eat once a day though, i'm still primarily nursing them. Last weight check Baby boy B was 15 freaking pounds! and Baby boy A was close behind! So proud of my little guys. Mommy's milk is fattening them up quite nicely! They are almost sitting on their own, and scoot all over. They are super smiley all the time too. Soon they will be crawling, and have teeth... I'm so not ready! lol. But it comes with growing up, eh? I need to add some pictures... just still hesitant, don't know what wierdo is on here! lol. Maybe I will figure out how to get them where they can't be stolen...