All those years ago

I look at my son's and can't get over how very much I love them. I remember all those years ago, as a 15 year old baby myself, looking into BréElle's bright, full brown eyes and feeling the exact same way. Like I could look into those eyes forever, and finally, finally, there was someone to love me 100% without a doubt. BréElle was 6yrs. 5mths. and 1 day old when my body failed me and pushed out not quite ready boys out into this world. Six years old. I never really intended to wait so long... but really I'm not sure what my intentions were either. I've always wanted to be a mother, I know that. From the time I was a little bitty girl. But then again, the first few years of BréElle's existence were so tough, sometimes I questioned rather or not I was meant to be any one's parent at all. All I had then of course, was more love than my little body could handle, and I poured it all into her. I loved her, truly madly, passionately, because that's all I really knew for sure how to do. Nearly 7yrs. later, and I have, in my honest opinion, one of the happiest most loving little girls you will ever have the pleasure of knowing. She is amazeing. Who knows where my world would have been with out her. Back then though, while I was trying to find myself, grow up, and raise a daughter also, I never even dreamed I would have the devine, great pleasure, of having any more babies. Little people they are. What with their huge personalities, and power to change all... why would you think of them as anything else? I longed for a baby, honestly, for quite some time. I never thought I would be given this again though. A life, To mend, and to mold. All those years ago, when I thought everything was so tough, I forgot how all this feels. Holding my son's in my arms. Their sweet warm touch. The gentle tug of their tounge as they nurse from my breast. The cooing they make as I sing and caress their face. That sweet, smooth smell when they exhale, so new and fresh. I forgot how beautiful this all is. How blessed I am to have them at all. My daughter, and two son's. How easy it is to forget.